Monday, December 20, 2010

"It’s hard to Pretend that your OK, even you're not"

n the past, I thought love is patient and willing to wait till the end. But after almost 18 years in Canada, I realized that true love really hurts, especially if you saw the person you love has found someone else. A promise indeed is made to be broken. It’s hard to pretend that you’re happy but deep inside, your heart is aching. It’s just like you’re hit by thousands of needles. *major ouch*

When I was young, I had a friend named Robert. Actually he’s my best friend. However, as time goes by I felt something different for him. Yet, I’m really shy to tell him the truth, that I have a crush on him.

He’s a good looking guy with teary eyes and fair complexion. Actually, he has all the traits I’m looking for a guy. But then, there’s a single problem. At that time, I was about to migrate to Canada to manage my dad’s Wholesale Clothing business.

Just the same, I told Robert how I felt about him. I told him he was everything I was looking for in a guy. I was surprised because he hugged me too tight and gave me a cute bracelet, asking me to keep it until the day I came back from Canada. He told me that no matter how many years it will take, he’s willing to wait for me.

Fast forward to 18 years, I came back to San Diego due to a financial crisis. My dad’s wholesale clothing business went bankrupt. I came back to the old house and looked if Robert was still there. But instead of finding Robert, I saw a girl named Jane. I asked her about Robert and according to her, Robert is her boyfriend. After long years of waiting, I realized that I’m so stupid.

It was only then that I finally gave in to the long years of pain and sadness I felt of being away from Robert. Tears fell down from my eyes, and I didn’t even bother to stop it. When Robert finally came, I pretend that was ok. I forced myself to be happy for him, but I just can’t. When I left their house, I left a part of me in there. I’m still trying to get back the love I lost until now. I still love him so much. Yet, it’s hard to accept the truth that his heart belongs to another woman.

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